The burgee IS OK on the bow staff, and the prefered place. The flag staff (or "Pole" as you call it") should be long enough that the flag will not touch the deck or any part of the boat or accessories in its normal position.
NO the US flag should not be flown from a starboard antenna, nor the burgee on a flag staff at the stern. If you are going into Canada, you should have a Candian flag. Some countries will fine you if you are not flying the proper flags in their waters, especially if you have not yet cleared in thru their customs, health and imigreation. When we returned from our European trip, we had visited over 40 countries, and had a flag for every one of these countries. Most of them we had made from spinaker cloth and dacron fabric we carried with us--colored sharpies on occasion made the integrate detail. If you are not prepared to make them, then you should have the purchased the flag of that country before you leave the US. There are shops which make country flags just for boats, yachts and ships.
The "Q" flag again is a signal that you have not cleared into a country. The crew should not go ashore until clearance. is compete. In some cases customs come to you, but in the majority of countries, you go to a specifc dock or anchorage, and the skipper goes to the customs office. Checking in may require a number of stops, copies of crew and equiptment lists with seriel numbers of items aboard, as well as clearance papers or "Zarpe" to proceed to the next contry. Also needed are passports, visas, ship's papers or registration, proof of ownership and insurance papers.
No, "folks" should always follow flag etiuette. What does "modern Day" have to do with proper etiquette?