McDONALDS APPLICATION
>
> This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a
> McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him
> because he was so honest and funny!
>
> NAME: Greg Bulmash
>
> SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
>
> DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
> whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
> applying here in the first place.
>
> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
> style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
> can haggle.
>
> EDUCATION: Yes.
>
> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
>
> SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
>
> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
> post-it notes.
>
> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
>
> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
>
> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
>
> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
>
> Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
>
> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
>
> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
> UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
>
> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
>
> I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car
> that runs?"
>
> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
>
> I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
>
> DO YOU SMOKE?
>
> On the job no, on my breaks yes.
>
> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
>
> Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super
> model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
> I'd like to be doing that now.
>
> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
> KNOWLEDGE?
>
> Yes – Absolutely.
>
> SIGN HERE: Aries.
>
>
> This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a
> McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him
> because he was so honest and funny!
>
> NAME: Greg Bulmash
>
> SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
>
> DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
> whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be
> applying here in the first place.
>
> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
> style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we
> can haggle.
>
> EDUCATION: Yes.
>
> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
>
> SALARY: Less than I'm worth.
>
> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and
> post-it notes.
>
> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
>
> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.
>
> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
>
> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
>
> Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
>
> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
>
> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
> UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
>
> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
>
> I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car
> that runs?"
>
> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?
>
> I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
>
> DO YOU SMOKE?
>
> On the job no, on my breaks yes.
>
> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
>
> Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super
> model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually,
> I'd like to be doing that now.
>
> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
> KNOWLEDGE?
>
> Yes – Absolutely.
>
> SIGN HERE: Aries.
>