Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately
take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Try these on for size:
1) I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like
playing with men's balls."
+++++++++++++++
2) My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
++++++++++++++
3) Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course
I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
+++++++++++++
4) This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after
it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches
you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!
take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Try these on for size:
1) I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After
browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the
good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like
playing with men's balls."
+++++++++++++++
2) My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold
a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned
beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
++++++++++++++
3) Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell
for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a
full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course
I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No."
I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I
don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE
you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you
have an accident?"
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
they'd ever had!
+++++++++++++
4) This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any?
A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after
it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the
weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches
you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!