Two blonds inherit a ranch

T

thataway

Active member
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette,
inherit the family ranch.

Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, 'When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul it home.'

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and
decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it
for $599.00, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town
to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the
telegraph office, and says, 'I want to send a telegram to my sister
telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch
the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it
home.'

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, it will cost 99 cents a word. Well, after paying for the bull, the
brunette realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, 'I want you to
send her the word 'comfortable.'

The operator shakes his head. 'How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here
to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word
'comfortable?'

The brunette explains, 'My sister's blonde. The word is big.
She'll read it very slowly......'com-for-da-bul.'
 
Don't forget your armor plating when you attend the Mississippi gathering. My wife is blond and will be hunting for you :lol:
 
God's Conversation With a Blonde Nun

One night a blonde nun was praying in her room when God appeared before her.

"My daughter, you have pleased me greatly. Your heart is full of love for your fellow creatures and your actions and prayers are always for the benefit of others. I have come to you, not only to thank and commend you, but to grant you anything you wish," said God.

"Dear Heavenly Father, I am perfectly happy. I am a bride of Christ. I am doing what I love. I lack for nothing material since the Church supports me. I am content in all ways," said the nun.

"There must be something you would have of me," said God.

"Well, there is one thing," she said. "Just name it," said God. "It's those blonde jokes. They are so demeaning to blondes everywhere, not just to me. I would like for blonde jokes to stop."

"Consider it done," said God. "Blonde jokes shall be stricken from the minds of humans everywhere. But surely there is something that I could do just for you."

"There is one thing. But it's really small, and not worth your time," said the nun.

"Name it. Please," said God.

"It's the M&M's," said the nun. "They're so hard to peel."
 
Elsie the Cow and Ferdinand the Bull were on either side of a fence.
Elsie the Cow gave him a wink and he leaped over the fence to her side.
‘Aren’t you Ferdinand the Bull?’ she asked.
‘Just call me Ferdinand. The fence was a lot higher than I thought.’
 
A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby.

For whatever reason, she decided to do it.

When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her:

"Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?"

The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and naive and decided to show those boys a thing or two.

The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming.

"What are you so happy about?" asked her mother.

"I totally showed them. Today I didn't even WEAR underwear!"
 
Marie says I must apologize to all blondes ahead of time! We really know that blondes are smarter...!


Of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be one of the best -- because it makes football make sense!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but
I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was...
'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

I'm like...Helloooooo?
It's only 25 cents!!!!"
 
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