classy insults

dotnmarty

New member
What can I say?--

The exchange between Churchill &Lady Astor:

She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,'

and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'



A member of Parliament to Disraeli:

'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.'

'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli,

'on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'



'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter Kerr



'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'

Winston Churchill



'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'

Winston Churchill



'I have never killed a man,

but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'

Clarence Darrow



'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the Dictionary.'

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)



'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'

Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)



'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;

I'll waste no time reading it.'

Moses Hadas



'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'

Abraham Lincoln



'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'

Mark Twain



'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'

Oscar Wilde



'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;

bring a friend.... If you have one.'

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill



'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... If there is one.'

Winston Churchill, in response.



'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'

Stephen Bishop


'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'

John Bright



'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'

Irvin S. Cobb


'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'

Samuel Johnson


'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'

Paul Keating



'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'

Jack E. Leonard



'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'

Robert Redford



'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'

Thomas Brackett Reed



'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'

Charles, Count Talleyrand



'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.'

Forrest Tucker


'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'

Mark Twain



'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'

Mae West



'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'

Oscar Wilde



'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...

For support rather than illumination.'

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)



'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'

Billy Wilder



'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.'

Groucho Marx
 
Only wish I were so eloquent!

Unfortunately I'm not, which probably explains all the fights I got into as a kid :embarrased
 
When I started this unfortunate thread I had just returned from the dentist. Going to the dentist has certainly changed for the better since I was a kid. No more slow drill. I'm not even sure they use a drill anymore. All I know is that now they anaesthesize the mouth before they give you the novacaine or whatever. Then they give you the gas. Now that's some great stuff! The last thing I remember is the doc apologizing for the pinch the needle will cause, while he is constantly pinching my cheek like Aunt Fanny would do to me when I was in second grade. The session was short, although a little longer than it had to be because of my giggling. When it was over I smiled my way to the lobby, stopping only to hug every female professional and patient I passed. Can I be arrested for that? Do you think the dental staff would testify in my behalf? Can I ask for an appointment just for the gas? And..and! they give you a 10% Senior discount! So that's the history of this dopey thread. As Billy Eckstine used to sing, "...from the bottom of my heart dear, I apologize...."
 
dotnmarty":12jz0mfq said:
All I know is that now they anaesthesize the mouth before they give you the novacaine or whatever. Then they give you the gas. Now that's some great stuff! I smiled my way to the lobby, stopping only to hug every female professional and patient I passed.

Marty, I don't let them anesthetize me when I get fillings, but I still hug the girls on the way out.......reckon, I just want to be sure that I enjoy the hugs without being "snowed"...... :wink (just to be sure that I am staying on a boating topic.....I think one of the ladies has a canoe :mrgreen: ).
 
Is this good or bad?
Last week I had a check-up at the VA. The doc asked me multiple times for my birthdate, as well as my "last 4". Then he said to me that he just couldn't believe that a guy my age with all my physical problems could still look so good. How should I feel about this? :|
 
How you feel when you leave the dentist's office is often a function of how talented your dentist is.

My dentist is the only person I know who can put both hands in your mouth and empty your wallet at the same time.
 
this via PM from Starcraft Tom:

squid " the Marines are a department of the Navy"
Marine " yes, the mens department"

No argument from this corpsman. I will let sleeping Devildogs lie. :wink:
 
Marty,

Sounds like you are operating "under the influence" Didn't know that Nitrous could last that long. :roll: :wink:

Harvey
SleepyC :moon
 
IT-SEA-BIT-C":2x464bs3 said:
I think another name for a mule is a JACKASS ! :shock: :lol: :lol:

Actually, a jackass is a male donkey and is NOT a mule. I just have to "jump" on your parade. :mrgreen:

In the spirit of good fun..........it was a US Army Paratrooper that just "jumped" on your parade. :wink

AIRBORNE! ALL THE WAY!
 
I salute you Dave ! Somebody needed to knock me off my soapbox for that one , besides my joke wasn"t even that funny. Thanks for having a good sense of humor, and letting me still have some dignity at the same time pal. :shock: :lol: :beer & one :beer for you Dave.........john - ( ssgt USMC formerly )
 
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