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fishing jokes
- Thread starter B~C
- Start date
Not a joke but here's one of my favorite songs about fishing - Brad Paisley, I'm gonna miss her.
starcrafttom
Active member
did you hear about the fish the one armed guy caught? it was this big( hold up one hand) Sorry its the only one I know about fish.
"Fishing Joke" ... now is that a redundancy?
Here's an old chestnut:
A guy was fishing early one morning and was getting skunked. The fish were biting, but not on what he was fishing with. Being a wily sort, he tried to see just what it was the trout were rising for. Finally, he spotted a grasshopper that was carried by the breeze into the water. Instantly, a huge fish lunged up and nailed the poor insect.
Truly inspired, the guy charged out of the water and went looking for grasshoppers. But he was too slow. Every time he'd get near one, the cussed thing would skitter just out of reach. He almost had one in his grasp when a small rattlesnake beat him to it. Feeling desparate, the fisherman took his wading staff and thumped the snake on the head. The snake let go of the grasshopper and lay still. With a mad grin, the guy grabbed the bug and impaled it on his hook. Just as he started back to the stream, he looked back at the stunned snake.
Feeling a little guilty, the guy took out his flask and dripped a few drops of Old Redeye on the snake's injured jaw. Then he resumed fishing. Soon, he had landed the biggest brown trout of his life (of course!.)
As he stood on the bank admiring his fish, he felt a thump on his foot. There was the rattler with another grasshopper in its mouth.
And every word is true.
Pat
Here's an old chestnut:
A guy was fishing early one morning and was getting skunked. The fish were biting, but not on what he was fishing with. Being a wily sort, he tried to see just what it was the trout were rising for. Finally, he spotted a grasshopper that was carried by the breeze into the water. Instantly, a huge fish lunged up and nailed the poor insect.
Truly inspired, the guy charged out of the water and went looking for grasshoppers. But he was too slow. Every time he'd get near one, the cussed thing would skitter just out of reach. He almost had one in his grasp when a small rattlesnake beat him to it. Feeling desparate, the fisherman took his wading staff and thumped the snake on the head. The snake let go of the grasshopper and lay still. With a mad grin, the guy grabbed the bug and impaled it on his hook. Just as he started back to the stream, he looked back at the stunned snake.
Feeling a little guilty, the guy took out his flask and dripped a few drops of Old Redeye on the snake's injured jaw. Then he resumed fishing. Soon, he had landed the biggest brown trout of his life (of course!.)
As he stood on the bank admiring his fish, he felt a thump on his foot. There was the rattler with another grasshopper in its mouth.
And every word is true.
Pat
Two [insert whatever group you pick on here] guys were fishing in a rented boat. Things were going really well and they were catching fish left and right.
Bob says to Jim, "The fishing is so great here, we should mark this spot".
Jim says "I agree" and he whips out a big magic marker and draws an "X" on the bottom of the boat.
Bob looks at him and says "Idiot! What if we don't get the same boat tomorrow?"
Bob says to Jim, "The fishing is so great here, we should mark this spot".
Jim says "I agree" and he whips out a big magic marker and draws an "X" on the bottom of the boat.
Bob looks at him and says "Idiot! What if we don't get the same boat tomorrow?"
Three guys were fishing at Point Defiance early on a Saturday morning. Things were pretty quiet in the boat, then Mike said, "you wouldn't believe what I had to do to get here. I promised my wife that I would stain the deck next weekend." Ralph responded, "That's nothing, I promised my wife that we would repaint the living room and dining room next weekend. The boat fell silent as they looked at Joe and asked: What did you have to do?
Joe responded: "I woke up my wife at 4:00 am this morning and asked: fishing or sex? She said: don't forget your salmon net, then rolled over and went back to sleep."
Joe responded: "I woke up my wife at 4:00 am this morning and asked: fishing or sex? She said: don't forget your salmon net, then rolled over and went back to sleep."
starcrafttom
Active member
A die hard fisherman got up before sunrise to leave. After getting all his gear he noticed that is was starting to rain but he left anyhow. By the time he was half way to the river the wind was blowing hard and it was starting to hale. Well enough was enough and he turned around and went home. As he climbed back into bed with his half asleep wife he saids " the weather is really bad today" she replys "yeah and my husband went fishing any how"
Two guys that had just met were in the middle of the lake fishing from a row boat. The owner of the row boat lit off a stick of dynamite and threw it in the water. After the explosion, dozens of trout were lying on the water's surface. The boat owner's new fishing buddy then identified himself as a state fish and game officer, to which the boat owner lit off another stick of dynamite, handed to the officer and said, "well, are you gonna fish or just sit there talkin' to me?"
starcrafttom
Active member
Roger you can insert BAYLINER OWNER.
I've been getting some pretty good mileage out of the one armed fishing joke.
the fishing here has been real good & the weather mighty fine. I had a chance to shake Dr Bobs hand a have a few words when I arrived, would have liked to visit longer but had no time. I arrived at 5pm the 20th and had to get the boat ready to take folks fishing the next day.
The first few days are always nervous time for me, I figure folks don't want to pay a bunch of money to see their captain fumbling & stumbling about trying to find stuff, including fish. Things went well though & we got a load of Kings, a nice collection of silvers and a round of chickens. A couple of days later we put the emphasis on halibut and took home a 60, 75, 85 & 101 pounder with a few silvers thrown in to round out the day.
The pace has slowed down a bit now so I've been working on boats. I'm running the same boat I had last year and by about the end of the season I'll have that thing organized to perfection.
just a rambling note from the north
the fishing here has been real good & the weather mighty fine. I had a chance to shake Dr Bobs hand a have a few words when I arrived, would have liked to visit longer but had no time. I arrived at 5pm the 20th and had to get the boat ready to take folks fishing the next day.
The first few days are always nervous time for me, I figure folks don't want to pay a bunch of money to see their captain fumbling & stumbling about trying to find stuff, including fish. Things went well though & we got a load of Kings, a nice collection of silvers and a round of chickens. A couple of days later we put the emphasis on halibut and took home a 60, 75, 85 & 101 pounder with a few silvers thrown in to round out the day.
The pace has slowed down a bit now so I've been working on boats. I'm running the same boat I had last year and by about the end of the season I'll have that thing organized to perfection.
just a rambling note from the north
beautiful downtown Elfin Cove....the city is a buzz today with it being the 4th. This is the first time I haven't been fishing on the 4th & am looking forward to watching the big parade, bobbing for Humpy heads & fish tossing contests....It's a prime fishing spot as we can go out and fish the Gulf or run in towards Glacier Bay........life is good