A
Anonymous
Guest
Hope this don't land me on my ear tonight :embarrased I just had to share it (it terrible :xnaughty ) I haven't laughed so hard in a while :teeth :moon ~~~ :lol:
I understand if it gets "zapped" ... here goes:
Subject: FW: no child left behind
NCLB Testing
In response to President Bush's federal "No Child Left Behind
Act" (NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a
test to be promoted to the next grade level. In the hope that
this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of the states, the
new test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and
Reading Test, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
retested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing
a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by
grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English
program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning
Language, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass
the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle
school by taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive
Reading and Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP. If by age fourteen
the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she can earn
promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the
Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students,
or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public
Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any
student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. This revised provision of the
student component of the House Bill 101 should help "clear the
air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act.
:xnaughty :xnaughty
I understand if it gets "zapped" ... here goes:
Subject: FW: no child left behind
NCLB Testing
In response to President Bush's federal "No Child Left Behind
Act" (NCLB), it is proposed that students will have to pass a
test to be promoted to the next grade level. In the hope that
this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of the states, the
new test will be called the Federal Arithmetic and
Reading Test, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
retested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing
a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by
grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English
program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning
Language, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass
the required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle
school by taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive
Reading and Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP. If by age fourteen
the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he or she can earn
promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the
Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students,
or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public
Schools (DIPS) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any
student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP. This revised provision of the
student component of the House Bill 101 should help "clear the
air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act.
:xnaughty :xnaughty