Public Apology

J

Jazzmanic

New member
I’ve been thinking about posting this for a long time now. It falls under the old adage, “better late than never” or even better, “you’re never too old to learn something new”. I’m sorry it’s taken so long but anyone who knows me well can attest to the fact that I can be very stubborn.

A couple of years ago, I got into an online dispute with another C-Brat, Mark, aka “localboy”. He posted an opinion on a public forum that I did not agree with and strongly voiced my opinion publicly as well. His post hit a sensitive nerve with me and I reacted impulsively. I realize now that although I did not agree with his opinion, I should have responded to him via PM rather than air it out in public. These actions caused bad blood between Mark and myself and I would like to take the opportunity to make a public apology to Mark for my behavior.

Now that I’m in the latter stages of middle age and mellowing with age, I realize that I need to take a step back and think about the ramifications when voicing my opinion about “sensitive” subjects on a public forum. This “bad blood” had much to do with my taking a step back from the site for a couple of years, not posting with the frequency as I had for so many years. This incident has been hanging over my head for a long time and made me feel very uncomfortable. At this point in my life, with what’s going on with my wife’s health and with the knowledge that I've made so many good C-Brat friends from this site, I realize now that life is too short to hold a grudge or harbor bad feelings. I’ve read many of your posts Mark and believe you to be a nice guy, a loyal C-Brat and a valuable contributor to the site.

Mark, I hope one day you can accept my apology and hope that sometime in the future, we might even be able to share a beer together.

Peter
aka jazzmanic
C-Dancer
 
Way to go Peter. It takes courage to step forth like that. We are a diverse bunch and I am continually amazed at how well we do get along. Thanks for the share. George :thup
 
Peter, I'm glad you're back.

I learned the hard way that it's easy to piss somebody off with the written word because it's so hard to convey emotion. Or humor. Or tongue-in-cheek utterings.

One of the things that I really appreciate about this site is the general open-mindedness and the civil discourse of the participants. Usually, folks just agree to disagree, and in those rare cases where someone crosses the line, some "elder member" pipes up to gently remind us all of "the rule".

Ain't life great?

jd
 
While I am too new to the forum to know what happened, I am glad to hear the apology. Many times, folks will not apologize at all, or will do it in a private manner in an effort to save face.

Kudos to you for your attempt to come clean in a public way. Hopefully it will be received favorably. This is easily one of the best forums on the net and a major reason we purchased our boat.
 
You're a good guy Peter. I am sure it will all work out.

Hopefully, all is well with Caryn.

Take care,
Dan, Tanya, and Hannah on C-Renity
 
That was a very nice gesture Peter. Knowing the both of you I would think that you would get along if you got to know each other.

We have been following Caryn's progress on her blog. My heart goes out to you both. We hope for a speedy recovery.
 
ddenver":1r5ipl8t said:
You're a good guy Peter. I am sure it will all work out.

Hopefully, all is well with Caryn.

Take care,
Dan, Tanya, and Hannah on C-Renity
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Yeah, what they ^ said. You are both good guys and definite additions to our community.

Best wishes,
Jim
 
I got home yesterday evening and saw a private message via my cell phone e-mail. I've been working a bunch of OT lately, so sleep was more important than any quick response. I also thought a good "sleep on it" would be beneficial. But I digress....

This a.m. I responded to Peter via PM. I will not dredge up old garbage and those of you who have been here long enough know the back-story. Suffice it to say that I passionately defend my character and reputation.

I've also been known to do as Peter said he did and react too quickly & passionately, without thinking about the outcome or or how it could be perceived or mis-interpreted. I'm working on it and believe it or not, I've "mellowed" in my 50's. :wink: Some of it comes from up-bringing; my father instilled in us the importance of character at an early age. Some of it comes from my career; I deal w/ confrontation nearly daily and my life literally could depend on "winning" every incident.

I told Peter that I consider this entire incident done; no grudges will be held and no resentment felt. I think we were both passionate in our positions/opinions and as a result, things quickly escalated.

Aloha,
Mark
 
Knowing and liking both of you I am really glad to see this. Itis a credit to both of you to make this go away, and Peter, your open apology was a tribute to you. Being able to say I'm sorry in this very public setting is not easy. Mark, you know that I know what you are talking about and appreciate your plain, realistic and thoughtful response to Peter's mea culpa. I also appreciate that both of you refrained from public sniping. This whole thing makes Bill and Mike's "Just be nice" rule clearer as the key to our extended family of brats.
 
On the subject of mellowing as we age, I'm not so sure if I mellowed out when I entered my 50s, or just got too lazy to fight about anything. :lol:

A great line I read many years ago: "Would the boy you were be proud of the man you've become?" I ponder that question often during periods of self reflection.
 
localboy":2lrout73 said:
I got home yesterday evening and saw a private message via my cell phone e-mail. I've been working a bunch of OT lately, so sleep was more important than any quick response. I also thought a good "sleep on it" would be beneficial. But I digress....

This a.m. I responded to Peter via PM. I will not dredge up old garbage and those of you who have been here long enough know the back-story. Suffice it to say that I passionately defend my character and reputation.

I've also been known to do as Peter said he did and react too quickly & passionately, without thinking about the outcome or or how it could be perceived or mis-interpreted. I'm working on it and believe it or not, I've "mellowed" in my 50's. :wink: Some of it comes from up-bringing; my father instilled in us the importance of character at an early age. Some of it comes from my career; I deal w/ confrontation nearly daily and my life literally could depend on "winning" every incident.

I told Peter that I consider this entire incident done; no grudges will be held and no resentment felt. I think we were both passionate in our positions/opinions and as a result, things quickly escalated.

Aloha,
Mark
Click to expand...

Thank you Mark for your well thought-out response and acceptance of my apology.

Mahalo, Peter
 
I'm not so sure if I mellowed out when I entered my 50s, or just got too lazy to fight about anything.
Click to expand...

:lol: :lol: Believe me, I undertand this. I'm sometimes called "the old man" at work...some of the other cops I work with are in their 20's. One guy didn't even know who "The Beatles" are....
 
Peter -There isn't a human being alive who doesn't regret saying something disagreeable to another. If you are ready for a little bit of "dark" humor, I recall a quotation which went something like this:
public confessions may be good for the soul, but they are awfully hard on one's reputation. Forgive yourself for being human!
Yellowstone
 
Pat - you are and so am I , just not for as long.

mark- My high school friends visited from California last week with their 20 yr old daughter. she is a self described hipster. She saw my grateful dead tattoo on my arm and wanted to know what it was. I told her " that's the grateful dead" blank stare and "who" ? :shock:
 
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